Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Don't let her fool you


She is not as innocent as she appears in this picture. We are at battle with this sweet, little girl. The last few weeks have been tough and yesterday was the climax...or at least I hope it was the climax. I'm learning more about what it means to parent and how we have to stand firm and teach the same thing over and over again. I spout out cliches that I probably said I never would say when I was a parent. I think my vocabulary consists of:
speak kindly
be nice
do it KINDLY
Obedience!
Walk away, just walk away.
It is okay to be angry, it is not okay to act out your anger
Just because she/they hurt you, does not mean you hurt them back
And, last night I spouted out a Strappism...When you mess up, confess up, get up and keep going (actually I'm not sure I quite remember the ending, but that's what I said).
I'm trying to teach her how to act and how to have a repentant heart as well. This sweet, little girl is precious to us we do not want to loose her to the battle of sin or selfishness. I'm engaged in this fight and praying for wisdom, guidance and perseverance.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Eric and Brie Plus THREE

There may be a few of you that aren't thrilled to find out this news from a blog post, but I hope you'll forgive me. Our lives have been a little crazy the last few days. And we are officially Eric and Brie + THREE............


























DOGS!


Eric's Favorite Scotty (as in Scotty Cameron Putter) joined our family Saturday. He is a full blooded Weimaraner. He is pretty sweet and Mali is smitten with him. He is 8 weeks old and on his way to being a great buddy to Shank.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Mali update


Mali is doing really great! She is almost finished with preschool...just two more weeks! Lately, we have had some behavior problems consisting of Mali trying to parent. A few weeks ago, Eric and I were outside and she decided to make Eric a snack. Peanut butter, jelly, plates and cups covered the kitchen when we came inside. She has also decided that she needs to discipline Eleri or take things from Eleri even when Eric and I are right there. This has caused a lot of problems lately. It goes like this; Eleri has a toy, Mali goes to take it away, I (or Eric) say, "It's okay she can have it", Mali takes it away anyway! It can be pretty aggravating. God has just shown me that it is part of training our children and being consistent and sticking with teaching them the right way even if I say 100 times a day "be kind" or "you need to let Mommy handle that." Mali has also been using a rude tone and voice lately and yelling at Eric and I...kind of along the same lines of her trying to be in charge. I've been praying that I would be gentle in my tone, voice, mouth, hands, touch...etc., because I do believe sometimes the problems we see in our children are a result of our actions. And, I certainly can be a little harsh when I speak to her...I like to call it "firm". Its okay for a parent to be "firm" but not okay for Mali to be "firm" with her parents. On the other side of this, I've seen Mali do a really great job playing with Eleri. It makes my heart so happy to hear Mali sweetly talk to Eleri and say "hey cute little girl" (also things I know she's repeating from me...why can't she just repeat the good???) I love watching them play. Eleri just goes along with what Mali does. The other day Mali got Eleri dressed up in a bumblebee costume and dress up high heels. Mali wore her bumblebee costume and heels too. It was sooo cute. Mali couldn't understand how Eleri could walk in the heels but Mali kept falling! When they get along it is wonderful and when they fight it is horrible! Mali has started t-ball and really enjoys it (her first game is tonight). Last week she made a "new friend" that she was so excited to tell me about. She described him as the boy that is "gold". I'll let you guys figure that one out! At the end of practice, all the kids ran around the soccer goal post and back and this little boy won. Mali was very upset that she didn't win. I talked with her about just trying harder and running faster, but told her that her new friend won. She was excited for him and said "I need to bring him a present next time for winning". Mali finished her last BSF class today. It was sad saying all the good-byes. We are so thankful for BSF and the women that have taught and loved on Mali these past three years. Another funny thing that I want to "document" is Mali's nighttime awakenings. Last night about 10:00, the wind picked up outside and then Eric and I heard some weird noises from inside the house. A few minutes later, Mali walks into our room sort of crying and walks into our closet. It was so hard not to laugh. I took her to the bathroom and then walked her to her room, where she walked into the closet again. I finally tucked her in bed. Of course, she didn't remember this at all this morning. Ever since we moved her, Mali has done this. It took us a few accidents to realize that when she does this she is asleep and just needs to go to the bathroom. I remember threatening to spank her at one point so she would tell me why she was crying. Now we just now, take her to the bathroom and put her back to bed. This is probably the first time when I've been awake when she wakes up. She used to just cry in her bedroom and I would come get her, but now she comes to our room. Mali is writing and learning to spell really well. She is recognizing more and more sight words. A lady at BSF that was working in the children's area last week, came up to me and bragged on how smart Mali was. She is pretty smart and such a self starter. We are excited to see Mali and watch her grow throughout the summer. I'm so thankful for the personality that God gave her!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Kindergarten Bound


Yesterday we registered Mali for kindergarten at Sleep Hollow Elementary. The secretary was super friendly and grandmotherly. The principal even came out and met us! While we were filling out paperwork, Mali went over and colored with another kindergarten student to be. The secretary asked us if they knew each other, which I replied they didn't, and she said "she will do just fine in kindergarten." I know Mali will do just fine, however last night I started having fear creep up inside me. What if no one likes her? Because, lets face it, that is a real possibility, it seems far fetched to me because she is so sociable, but we've seen glimpses of her not being the teacher's pet and being excluded from playing with her peers at preschool. I guess that really is my one worry, however, I know that I need to trust God and that He sees the big picture. And maybe its because I remember being excluded in 1st grade and getting in trouble with my 1st grade teacher and being spanked by the principal...oh if only we wouldn't displace our own issues on our children! Anyway, that's another subject.
Mali was great and really seemed to like it. I definitely came away with a good feeling. Sleepy Hollow was ranked as the top elementary school in Texas in Texas Monthly the year that we moved to Amarillo. I'm so incredibly thankful that Mali has the opportunity to attend a great school. Another HUGE plus is that we are just across the street. Which will save on gas and my sanity. No more loading up the kids and buckling in...we will just walk to and from school. And, if Eleri is napping, I'll just walk out the door, lock it and take the baby monitor! Oh the freedom!!! I know next year will still be an adjustment: adjusting to going to school at 8, getting home at 1:30pm, Mali being at school every week day, projects and homework, testing, PTA, packing lunches, the expense of packing lunches (maybe my gas budget will transfer money to a lunch budget). I'm realizing, I'm going to have to become very organized and disciplined to be the best mom of a kindergartner. I have visions of writing sweet little notes to Mali in her lunch box and cutting her PBJ sandwiches into hearts (my mom used to leave me notes in my lunchbox and it meant a lot to me.)
I also wanted to add the reasons we are choosing to enroll Mali in public school. Since, this is a large debate among lots of families and is deeply personal I wanted to share our decision. I feel like it is similar to the staying at home decision, although I have to say I'm not as opinionated about the schooling issue as the staying at home issue...maybe its because I haven't been there yet. I never had considered homeschooling for Mali...I was completely against it, but after reading this blog post
http://www.mycharmingkids.net/2010/04/why-homeschool.html
I realized there was so many wonderful things that homeschooling can add and part of me really wanted to home school her. So, on to our decision. Disclaimer: I still love Jesus very very much, even though I will not homeschool. I still love Jesus very very much and want that for my children, but they will not attend private Christian school. So, we chose to enroll Mali in public school. #1 reason: Mali is very strong willed. She needs to be challenged. I'm not a teacher...I'm not even close to a teacher type. I've been honored to teach her and already homeschool her and she has learned. But I believe she can learn more from a teacher and a teacher will have the wisdom and knowledge to know what comes next in her learning plan and be able to push her. We saw this on the field of T ball practice the other day. Eric had been telling her how to catch the ball when it was a grounder, and then suddenly Mali picked it up from listening to one of the other "coaches". This is just how Mali is...she needs to be pushed and she listens to others better than her parents. #2 reason: Socialization. Mali is VERY social. I do believe that other avenues provide socialization, but public school is a great fit for Mali's socialzation. Am I scared of how she will be socialized? YES, tremendously! But last night as I was praying through The Power of a Praying Parent and the prayer on protection, God spoke to me that this is exactly what Mali needs to be doing. She needs to attend school here and I need to be on my knees for her. If she were home schooled or in a Christian school, I may not feel the desperation to pray for her like I will in public school and she wouldn't be covered in prayer. I have a HUGE responsibility ahead of me, and I'm sure will spend hours on my knees because of her socialization. On another note, I have not been happy about a lot of things Mali has learned, how she has acted, etc., after being socialized at a CHRISTIAN preschool. Kids are kids regardless of where they attend school. There are influences that children are exposed to that I can not control, even if it were in a Christian school, AND I believe that Christian Schools often present a false sense of security. Yes, I'm scared, but what choice do we have as parents but to allow our children to go into the world? God even commissioned us as Christians to go into the world. I'm scared of what Mali will pick up on, but maybe, just maybe, other children and parents and teachers will pick up on Jesus from Mali (maybe, hopefully)! #3 reason: Athletics. So, you had to know that would be in there. Organized sports and activities is huge in our family. Do I really need to explain this?;) Sports was instrumental in both Eric and I's lives and we want that for our girls too. #4 reason: A great elementary school. I feel incredibly blessed by the school Mali will attend. We decided to buy our house with some what blind faith because of the elementary school across the street. It is a great school. If Mali was going to go anywhere else, our decision might be more difficult as where to enroll her, but we don't have to face that. I'm so thankful and so thankful that God provided us with this home and neighborhood. I also believe that just as God has called me to be a mom and therapist, that He has placed his hand and gifts on teachers. I've known so many amazing, godly people that have become teachers. I don't want to withhold Mali from being under the wing of someone that God has appointed to teach her (because, it certainly isn't me). Still, this is scary, because I know there will be hard teachers and some teachers that may not love Jesus, but I'm hopeful that we can allow God to guide us in how to handle those times and that it will be used as learning opportunities and shaping opportunities for Mali. There are times that I hear about Christian Schools, especially DCA in Dalhart, and what amazing TRUTH they are learning and how it is so fundamental to their faith...and I think about how I would LOVE that for my girls...but for now this is our decision, and we are confident in it! Part of me wonders if God has so worked in Mali's life that the Holy Spirit lives in her now before she enters public school. I look forward to looking back on these days as Mali grows and is shaped. I'm sad, and I'll miss her and miss having lunch with her every day! I've realized that I may not have been the best steward of lunch time with my big girl, now that the season is over!:( But, here it is...the end of another season and Mali is kindergarten bound!:)