Pure Religion

I really miss having the time or effort to write a blog post with some substance or spiritual application.  I love sharing what God is doing in my life but this pregnancy has really taken me down in many ways so I'm lucky to get our memories on the blog.  I've had several posts written in my head all about what God is doing and teaching me.  This one has been there for a while, in my head.  We are studying Isaiah in BSF this year and one our first lessons was about caring for the orphan and oppressed.  James 1:27 says it like this "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."  It is put pretty simply.  My heart cries out for this orphans I want to help as much as I can.  I'm convicted when I splurge on a $3.00 coffee from Starbucks at how much food that could give a family.  I share with Mali that the whole bag of lentils we cooked to make lentil tacos is all that some children get to eat. When I worked at Buckner, I was "covered" because I was daily helping orphans and getting paid to do it.  Now that I'm in my stay at home mom bubble, it is much harder, and I still don't know what I'm needing to do.  We sponsor a girl from India through Project Asha at our church.  I talk with Mali a lot about orphans in other countries.  And, I read blogs like these that really convict me and haunt me and change my heart completely.  I feel like I really have to share these links with anyone out there that may come across my blog.  Please take the time to read them and please do something.


Rage Against the Minivan-This family has two adopted children. One from Haiti and one from the foster care system. This post is specifically about what you CAN DO!!!


Baby Bangs-This is Beth Moore's daughter's blog.  She was just a blogger on a Compassion International trip and all of these posts are amazing and eye opening to our world.  I encourage you to read all of her posts about Guatemala.


A Holy Experience-This is one of my favorite bloggers to read.  She was also on the Compassion Trip.


Let us live a life that is not a bubble and that is that of pure and faultless religion!
Here is another tangible way to help. The girls and I are going to do this. This is one of my brother's friends that is heading to Kathmandu, Nepal and these things would go to the Kathmandu Children's Home.
KTM Children's Home Toy Ideas
Think of things that can be shared and used over and over. The kids are all pretty young, with the oldest being around 8. Gently used is ok!

Ship to
Crowd Favorite (care of Gordon Brander)
1435 Wazee St.
Suite 103
Denver, CO, 80202
Soccer Ball (deflated + pump)
Marbles
Jacks
Jump Ropes
Bouncing Balls
Kiddie Scissors (rounded tip)
Cool Picture Books (lots of pictures, they may not speak english - DK makes good ones)
Construction Paper
Coloring Books
Crayons
Glue Sticks (glitter glue is always fun)
Yo-yos

Kindergarten Update

Yesterday, Eric and I had Mali's parent teacher conference. It went really well. Mali was tested about a month ago and so her teacher said that she has probably improved a lot since then. To sum it up, I would say Mali is achieving at a B level. She was above average in most of her testing. And really this testing was more of a baseline for us and the teacher. We still LOVE her teacher and love that she loves Mali. Mrs. Von Netzer said that Mali really brings a balance to her classroom. I just know she is an answer to my specific prayers that Mali get a teacher that sees her strengths. Von Netzer (as the students call her) said that Mali really is great and that even her "little sass" is cute. She said this is really the only behavior issue they have but that she just looks at Mali and Mali changes the way she said whatever it was. Von Netzer said that Mali has several little boys that "like" Mali. Right now it is Jack and Trent. Jack's mom even came up to me yesterday and introduced herself because Jack talks so much about Mali and thought maybe we could have a play date. Umm, I'm thinking that won't be unchaperoned!;) Von Netzer also said that at rug time, all the kids are just surrounding Mali and that the whole class is sort of just drawn to her and her personality! I love this and am so proud of her and that we are able to see her strengths. This sounds a lot like her daddy to me! Mali seems to be learning sooo very much. She recognizes tons of sight words and comes home and asks for books to circle sight words in. She is also learning sentence structure like "finger space" between words. One of my very favorite things is that nearly every day she brings home a drawing that she made for me and usually of me and her. That really warms my heart and is just a reminder of the sweetness in her for her mommy. Today was Von Netzer's birthday. Mali helped me make a Chai Tea mix for her and decoupage a container for it for her. Mali also insisted on bringing her a football cupcake, because Von Netzer "likes" football because she is at the AHS games!;) It was a crazy day walking to school, in the rain, with all those things!!! I came home covered in green frosting, but Mali loved giving those sweet treats to her teacher. At 1pm, we went early and had a birthday party for her too. Really it must have been for the kids because they got the juice boxes and cupcakes!;) I loved watching the kids and Mrs. Von Netzer in "action". She really is wonderful and very gifted as a teacher. We love her! Mali loves her and nearly every day tells me how much she loves Kindergarten. I'm so thankful that Mrs. Von Netzer has set this awesome foundation for Mali! I don't ever want to move away from her or this school until all three kids have her!;)
(Mali drew this drawing this week. It is me in the hospital after having the baby. My IV and fluids are to my right. Mali is behind the baby. She made sure to point out it was just me, her and the new baby and not Eleri).

Every heartbeat bears your name

So, first, I did copy this post title from another blog but it was sooo fitting. Today I am 16 weeks pregnant and had my monthly OB appointment. My appointment was at 9:00am and I was out in my car by 9:05am. Just makes me love my OB even more! He listened to #3's heartbeat and found it right away. It was 160. I haven't really felt #3 move (but had felt both girls by now and surely I should be able to feel my third by now?) and combined with reading another mom's blog, I was starting to get worried and prepare myself a little for a not so good appointment. I'm so thankful to hear that sweet sound that bears God's name. This sweet baby was HIS plan and He has brought this baby this far! My appointment was good overall. I've lost 1lb since my last appointment a month ago. I was certain I'd have gained since I've been able to eat again, but my OB wasn't hugely concerned about that 1lb as long as I can eat something and "keep sugars down". I'm trying to drink a lot of powerade but that makes me a little queasy into the afternoon/evening. These last few weeks (okay now we are at months) have been so hard and I've not had the best attitude about this pregnancy and part of me just wondered if God was going to sort of give me what I asked for (I haven't asked for no baby but my attitude sort of has). However, I really do not believe that is how our God works. He is full of grace and mercy, the two things that prove he doesn't give us what we "deserve" and He is a loving God that has a bigger plan through my misery. Now that doesn't mean he gives me an easy path by no means, just look at this pregnancy. He is using the hardness of it all to shape me and without that hardness I might just go about life without my thought life being changed. Part of that I really believe is transforming my heart/attitude and thoughts. I just started a bible study with Hillside on Tuesdays and it is teaching about our thought patterns and how what we think about ourselves, or say to ourselves in our mind/heart, affects us so deeply. My thoughts and in return attitude has been pretty stinky lately. So bring on the transformation, but can I please stop puking????
I am still throwing up each day, at least once on a good day and sometimes more, all day on a bad day. The more active I am or more I do or least I sleep, the sicker I am. I feel horrible and miserable and I really want all the feeling bad to end. I'm counting down the days and really know that any day I could suddenly stop puking and stop feeling bad. But I also know I may continue to feel bad. Its taking such a toll on my entire life and that's what I want to end. I don't feel like doing anything because my body is just exhausted. I take a nap and "wake up" and my mind is awake but my body never seems to really wake up. Doing ANYTHING just drains my energy, even taking Eric a pillow up to school! I just go downhill all day and I'm realizing that my afternoons are my valuable time that I have with my children and I need to be making the most of it and being intentional, but I'm not. I'm sitting there like a zombie, pregnant woman. They aren't being neglected, but they aren't really being engaged by me either. I loose patience so quickly with Eleri for making 18 month old messes and I hate that at this age with Mali I was so much more patient and loving. I want to believe that this is a season and it will get better, but I don't want to loose the days and hours either! I would so appreciate your prayers as this difficult difficult season continues in my life. Pray for my sweet sweet girls and that they would get their mommy back soon. Pray for Eric that he would get his helpmate back (especially one he so desperately needs during this SEASON for him!)
I have a sweet big girl to go pick up and a baby that is mysteriously waking up at 1:25pm instead of 2:30...can you say LONGGGGG day!

Oh and we also scheduled our BIG sonogram for October 14th...but the question is will the rest of the world find out with us the gender of our baby?

Weekly Wrap Up

Mali has finished one entire week of public school. It certainly has been an adjustment, but we are all super happy with how well it is going. I really love Mali's teacher and just the way she seems to really be invested in and loving on this class of kids. You can just see that she is genuinely good teacher that loves what she does. Every day Mali has come home with something new she is has learned, even if it is a song or a saying, I love to know that she is learning! I've really enjoyed being able to walk Mali to and from school. It is a huge blessing to live this close to the school and I'm so thankful that three years ago, God provided us this house in such a perfect location next to a wonderful elementary school. The second day of school it was a little drizzle-y and we started walking to school and ended up walking in a little more of a drizzle the closer we got to school. It was just another adventure. Getting ready hasn't been as wonderful as it was the first day, but it hasn't been that horrible either. We are all pretty tired though. Every day about 4:00 Mali seems to go downhill and have some sort of a meltdown. Wednesday she actually ended up falling asleep in her room and sleeping until 6:30. Mali had one bad day where she was pushed down on the playground and landed hands first in a pile of stickers. It broke my heart to see her little hands full of little thorns when she came home. We still don't know the whole story but it seems that Mali may have provoked the pushing and that her teacher wasn't even aware of the thorns in her hand. That made me for a bad night of crying that she didn't want to go back to school and because "we don't learn about God and that's the most important thing", which again broke my heart. We talked about all the things that she learned about and how God created those things so she DID learn about God. We talked about how nature "testifies" to God. The rest of the week has gone great. Mali loves the funny story about Hermie the Worm that her teacher tells and has started saying "kiss your brain" and kissing her head and touching it to her head when her or Eleri do a good job. It is really funny! Have I said I love this teacher yet? Mali does a great job of going in each morning, putting her backpack in her "locker", signing in, moving her name to bringing a lunch, and giving her folder to her teacher. Mali seems to be making friends and points to the girls that she plays with even though she doesn't' always remember their names. The second day of school, Haley (a girl that went to BSF with Mali for a little while) brought Mali a cross stretchy bracelet and gave it to her. Her mom told us that Haley wanted Mali and her to remember to stand for Jesus at school. This same little girl also wanted to bring a New Testament to give to the teacher so she could read it out loud during story time! I've spent this summer just praying for godly friends and influences for Mali. I love how God answers my prayers so specifically! I'm not sure Mali and Haley play every day together but it was an encouragement. Mali is also noticing the things that she has in common with the other girls in her class. She told me that the boys are always crazy and don't obey but the girls are good. And speaking of boys, yesterday at drop off this boy in her class said "can I come over?" It was a little awkward and on the spot. I just told him he needed to ask his mommy or daddy first. Mali told me she had invited him to come over and get toys because he is mean and she decided to be nice to him. I'm not sure and probably shouldn't judge, but he is a little bigger than the others so I wonder if he is a little older and maybe not mean but just older. Mali also really enjoyed one day of playing with her friend Carson on the playground (He is in another class) and that when she fell down he asked if she was okay. There are no more nerves and even though some mornings have been hard, Mali seems to really enjoy it. I asked her teacher at pick up today how Mali did this week and she said "she did really great!" That made me so proud, because I know how really great Mali is!!!! Mali also did so good on her behavior chart this week that she got to pick out something from the treasure chest. She chose a jump rope. They also had a birthday party today and got juice boxes and cupcakes...sounds like a great way to end a great week. She deserved it! We are looking forward to resting this weekend.

Another day, another ultrasound

Today I had another ultrasound. I sure am high maintenance when I'm pregnant, I guess it makes up for me not being high maintenance in normal life!;) In the last two/three weeks I've been bleeding and so this was just to check on baby again. When the tech put in all my information, I told her that we still weren't really sure how far along I was but that if I could give her the date of conception that it would probably be right. Sure enough she said that #3 was measuring exactly with that date of conception. So without further ado, real due date is March 3, 2011 and I'm 8-9 weeks along. Only three to five more weeks of my head remaining in the toilet! Yes, I'm sick and exhausted. In fact today I took an hour long nap and wanted to sleep more! The mornings and evenings are the worst and evenings the most difficult. I really can't eat dinner at all or keep it down if I do. I can't stand the look, smell or taste of chicken and as I get sick off something, I can no longer eat that. The ginger beer is helping some but isn't full proof. Eric said he's willing to pay for a prescription of Zofran for me my OB will prescribe it. We will see. This sure is hard the third time around (and really the fourth since my paperwork reads 4 pregnancies. Can you believe I've really been pregnant four times?). It was wonderful seeing #3 on the screen. Especially since baby looks more like a...baby. Can you see the little legs? I saw the heartbeat right away. That always sends a shock of amazingness through me. Then we heard the good strong, fast heartbeat. It was at 170 this time. Everything with the baby looked good. The tech did say she could see evidence of bleeding around the gestational sac but with baby healthy and heartbeat so strong it wasn't a concern to her and probably something that will self correct. We are trusting God! I'm so thankful for this baby but had a realization/talking time with God. Since God had clearly told us to do this, I think part of me expected his blessing and favor on this pregnancy. In my mind some what translating into easy, fun pregnancy. Which it is not. Then God just showed me that just because I'm obedient or follow his path doesn't mean its going to be easy. Carrie helped me to see that even when Jesus told the disciples to go out on a boat, he KNEW a storm was coming, and told them anyway. And like we've been studying in church, Paul was absolutely in God's will but was imprisoned, beat, stoned...etc. So, with God's strength I will get through #3. The other night after being sick, I asked Eric to tell me it was going to be worth it. He was silent. But then said "in five years". Once again, I find myself saying, in two years this will be worth it. I see how funny and amazing Eleri is at this age and know that in a short season #3 will be at that adorable stage too.

Kindergarten Woes

The past few weeks Mali has started to become a little anxious about going to kindergarten. Some of her woes are that she won't be able to go to Wal-Mart with me any more and the more heart breaking one, that she won't be able to learn about God. During one of our kindergarten discussions, Mali said she was excited about going to kindergarten and learning about God. I made the mistake of telling her that she wouldn't be learning about God like she did in preschool. I should've have been more thoughtful when I talked with her about it. Maybe saying that we can always learn about God no matter where we are, because that is so true and I want her to know that. I received more of a "spiritual education" at a secular university than my brother received at a Christian college. Or maybe I could have said, "you can teach people about God." At any rate, I'm trying to make up for my careless words now. We have purchased a backpack and a few school clothes. Eric has made sure that his big girl well be well dressed and fit in as much as possible at Sleepyhollow. We still have to get school supplies, hopefully I will this week, and end my nightmares about it being 7:30 on the first day of school and Mali not having school supplies. I've been thinking a lot about how I'm going to start having to pack lunches every day!!!! And how I will have to be thrifty and creative. I'm still unsure what to do about drinks and how to go about that the cheapest. I asked Mali if water bottles would work for her and she said "yes." We are used to eating leftover at lunch so this is going to stretch me. And, I realized, I will have to wake her up more than likely rather than let her sleep until she naturally wakes up. Not that she ever sleeps too late, but we will need to be prepared! Oh, the winds of change are blowing! On a positive note of this subject, we read in her Princess Bible about singing the song "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands" but trading out your worry, so we've been singing "He's got Mali going to Kindergarten, in His Hands...". I love it and she loves it (I'm actually going to use that little technique with clients too!) I'm in prayer for this sweet big girl and know she will do fantastic. We each have our own worries and concerns.

Such a sweet sound

Today the girls and I heard one of the sweetest sounds...#3's heartbeat. I had another ultrasound today and everything looked great and sounded great. The heartbeat was at 117 for all of those gender predictors out there. No signs of problems at all. I have started throwing up but God just really spoke to me that it will be okay, this will just make me depend on him even more. And that I'm okay with. I might have to ask Eric to shower immediately after mowing the lawn and might have some extreme rage that the spicy chicken sandwich I ordered was not in the bag but regular chicken sandwich that I can not stomach was...but we'll manage!:)
Here is another picture!