"Clean up, clean up, every body every where.."

Clean up clean up, every body every where, clean up clean up, every body do your share! Well, Mali has not been doing her share of cleaning up her room. It has been a battle for a long time. I've tried spanking her, sitting in there with her, and even promising a large reward (AND following through on it). I've taken things away like going swimming, not playing with friends, and not going to the movie theatre. We've tried not allowing her to do anything until her room is clean and spanking her if she comes out. None of this has worked, and when it has worked it has only been temporary and has not motivated her to keep it clean. When I give her tokens for each item she picks up, that works, but I have to be in there and have to stay on top of her...not always possible between feedings and putting Eleri down for naps. I also tried making it a game of see how fast you can go, how much you can pick up in 15 minutes, and beat Mommy...none of these worked. Positive reinforcement definitely works better with Mali and I can tell that she gets so overwhelmed with how much she has to do, so she just lays around and cries. BUT, I want her to be intrinsically motivated to clean her room, but maybe that won't happen until SHE is 29!:) Yesterday, Eleri was taking a good nap and I was in picking up Mali's room with her and she wasn't helping, so I decided to heed the advice of several friends, and my dad, and take away all of her toys. I put some in the attic but most in their baskets in our closet. I took Eric's shoes down so the toys could fit. I thought that if they were visible to her, it could be continued motivation to keep her room clean to get them back. So in the process of me taking up the toys, Mali said "thats okay you can take them away and give them to kids that don't have toys", and "I don't want them anyway" and "here's this one, I don't like it anyway." AND, she scavenged the toys she liked and hid them in the living room. However, I took those away too. She was allowed to keep 4 toys...three stuffed animals and a Littlest Pet shop toy that was actually where it was supposed to be. So it pretty much didn't phase her. At one point she asked for Big Bunny because she needed to marry him, and I explained to her when she could keep her room picked up she could have him back first. She had a few tears, but that has been it so far. Eric asked if her room was now spotless, the answer is NO. She is also making a mess with clothes and is changing several times a day. While I was working, Mali changed outfits 6 times and got out a lot of books too. I'm trying to follow the advice of a friend...Mali gets two tokens to change clothes and once she uses the tokens she can't change anymore. I hope it works, but I'm sure when I go to work or feed Eleri she will sneak in a clothes changes.

So today we are headed to the movie theatre without drama, and I ask myself, "wouldn't it just be easier if she took the 10 minutes to pick up her room?"

Sorry grandparents for all the toys you've given her, they are taking a much needed vacation and will hopefully return soon!