Baby Dedication

Sunday morning was baby dedication at our church. It was so wonderful and sweet and special. Grammie, Uncle Brandon, MeeMee, Papa, Josh and Kisha, Megan and Chris, and even Mali were in the sanctuary to watch. Grammie made the girls beautiful matching dresses for the occasion. We do not believe in infant baptism, because we believe that Jesus said that baptism should follow each person's decision to follow Him as an outward profession of faith, so this is some what of the equivalent. I really believe it should be called "parent dedication" because if fact, Sunday, that was what we stood before the church and did...dedicate OURSELVES to raise Eleri to know Jesus as her personal Lord and Savior. Wow, what a huge calling. I know that I am unfit in every way to teach her to love Jesus the way that I would like to, but I know that God is fit to do so and hopefully that means she will learn about loving Jesus from us, but it also may mean learning it from other amazing people throughout her life. I wanted to add to this post part of the letter that Hillside gave each child to read when they make their decision to follow Jesus:

"May 10, 2009 was a very special day. Your parents stood before God, their family and friends at Hillside Christian Church to thank God for the precious gift of life and to commit to raising you in a Christian home. They pledged to 'bring you up in the nurture and instruction of the Lord, to teach you Scripture that will lead you to know Jesus Christ as Savior and lord, to recognize and encourage your talents and uniqueness and to love you as Jesus Christ loves you'. The gathering of family and friends of Hillside vowed to 'commit themselves to instructing you in God's word, praying for you, modeling Christ-like characteristics for you, and assisting your parents in training you in the way you ought to go'."

I spent moments throughout this past week asking God to help my heart be pure before Him during this time. I didn't want to "dedicate" Eleri as show or because it was what is done for babies. I wanted my heart to truly desire to be this way and to take very serious this commitment. I'm not sure I succeeded, I only know my heart desires this. Some days I'm sure I'll mess up, just as I've messed up with Mali, but God's grace covers all of this. I just thought of what Strap used to say "when you mess up, you confess up, you get up, and keep going." As a parent, and as a Christ follower, this is just what we have to do, because we will mess up. But some wonderful moments, I will honor God and will teach Eleri the little seeds she needs to know about the most fulfilling love she will ever know...the love of Jesus.

Sunday was also Mother's Day and my first Mother's Day with 2 precious girls. I am SO honored to be their mom. God has given me the biggest blessing in these two girls; from their sweetest to most difficult moments, I am blessed. I don't want gifts on Mother's Day, because I feel as if my girls are gifts, and being able to celebrate Mother's Day is a gift. However, Eleri did give me a full night of sleep last night!:) I'm so thankful for the hugs, the smiles, the moments when Mali is learning new things that I get to teach her but on the other side I'm very thankful for the opportunity to change dirty diapers, to get to hold my sweet girl or stare at her sweet body in the middle of the night, to have the opportunity to teach Mali right from wrong even in difficult circumstances. I'm blessed and so thankful for it. Mother's Day is a wonderful opportunity for me to reflect on these gifts God has given me and to re-evaluate my role as a mom and sort of boost me to persevere!

GOAL!!!!

This morning Mali had her first soccer game. She did pretty good. I was proud of her for sticking with it and I never heard her complain. She asked for blankie a few times though. The highlight was when she ran past Eric shouting "someone has a bug in their hand". Mali was a little more interested in just running around and staying at the back of the pack. Papa and MeeMee came to watch and Papa promised her a piece of candy each time SHE scored a goal, she seemed to misinterpret this to mean ANYTIME a goal was scored, even by their opponents, and would look over at Papa and hold up the count! I'm pretty sure Mali's team won. They scored a ton of goals, although Mali didn't score, but she had fun. The girls finished up with a cute cookie as snack. I had thought I'd just go to Dollar Tree when it was our turn for snacks, but it looks like a certain precedence has already been set!




A video of Mali in action, she is #12

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Mali is #12

Jesus Paid it All, All to Him I owe

This year we got to celebrate Easter Sunday with two children, yeah! I enjoyed praying for the day that they will truly understand what was done for them on the cross. I was reading this week about how Jesus said "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do". I've always thought of it in the context of the soldiers and Jews that "crucified" Jesus, but this year it hit me that Jesus was saying this about all of us that would come after that point and sin, like my girls. They don't know what they do, but Jesus saw their sin on the cross and chose to die for those sins right then.
This is one of my favorite favorite hymns/praise songs and I just feel like it fits EXACTLY with me and where I was:

I hear the Savior say, "Thy strength indeed is small!
Child of weakness, watch and pray, find in Me thine all in all."

Lord, now indeed I find Thy pow'r, and Thine alone,
Can change the leper's spots and melt the heart of stone.

For nothing good have I whereby Thy grace to claim-
I'll wash my garments white in the blood of Calv'rys Lamb.

And when before the throne I stand in Him complete,
"Jesus died my soul to save," my lips shall still repeat.

Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain-
He washed it white as snow.
OH PRAISE THE ONE WHO PAID MY DEBT AND RAISED THIS LIFE UP FROM THE DEAD!!!!

I had to reflect on the real meaning of this celebration. Now to our other celebrations. Mali and I spent the week talking about Jesus dying on the cross for us and rising again. She is starting to grasp it some what and wants Jesus to live in her heart to, but I'm not sure she is quite there. We went to our church Sunday morning. After "the clubhouse" (What Mali calls her church), she said she learned "The Good News, Jesus is Alive!" I'm thrilled at what she is learning. After church, we went to Dalhart for an Easter lunch with Megan and Chris and Jordan and his family and then an Easter egg hunt. Here are some pictures!

Full Circle

One of the sweetest moments for me of parenting a preschooler/toddler has been moments that come full circle...memories that I remember from my childhood that I get to expose Mali to or see her enjoy.
Yesterday it snowed a beautiful snow here in Amarillo (after 80 degree days). The snow flakes reminded me of snow flakes in Ouray when it would snow. To celebrate, we enjoyed hot chocolate piled high with whip cream. Mali was so excited about this surprise. And the taste of the whip cream just reminded me so much of going to the Silver Nugget with my mom and drinking hot chocolate there!
The second memory I've wanted to blog about for a while, but haven't made the time. My dad came over wearing a Burger King crown the other day and brought Mali one too. This is such a strong memory from my childhood. Every time we went to Burger King to eat with my dad (often on the way to the airport for us to go back home), he would put on a crown when we stood in line and wear it the whole time. It is one of those things that as a child you act like embarrasses you, but really it is comforting because it was who my dad was! I secretly loved that he did that! So now it is full circle, and I'm no where near embarrassed, but thrilled to see my daughter and dad enjoying those sweet memories that I have.

There'll Be Days Like These Momma Said

Yesterday was one of those days!!! It began at 5:30am when I fed Eleri and then she didn't want to go back to sleep. Finally about 6:45 she fell asleep in her craddle and I in my bed. My last thought was, if Mali sleeps until 8:30 then I can still get 2 hours of sleep. WRONG! Next thing I knew, Mali was at the side of my bed and it was 6:59am!!!! I knew that I was a little grumpy and on edge all day, but it also made me cry out to God and seek him more desperately because there was NO way I could do it in my flesh. The rest of the day went okay, Eleri had a crying spell when we loaded into the car for me to make a Dr. Pepper run to Sonic. Finally, it was time for ballet. A friend called to see if I could pick up her daughter, so we loaded up quickly and made it just after the start of ballet with 3 girls. I had to feed Eleri at ballet and then ended up holding her for a while. When I went to put her in her carseat, she cried and cried and was not comforted at all. My friend Julie, helped me put her in the car, she was still crying. Then Mali "fell" in the car and started crying. I was in a hurry to get home. Both girls are crying and Mali will not get buckled in, so I'm (confession time) yelling at her to buckle in. I back up and feel the car hit something, my first thought was that it was the curb, but NO it was a car!!! So I get out of the car and give the lady my insurance info (she is a ballet mom too), I'm shaking and crying. Thankfully, Julie was still there, so she washed her hands and held Eleri's pacifier in while I talked with the other lady. I barely hit the front of her car, thankfully, but it still did a little damage, and I HATE messing up. The truth is, there was just too much going on and I wasn't paying close enough attention, but every time I back out at ballet I'm always worried about hitting someone because it is a tight squeeze, and when I had my belly I couldn't turn around and see. So, we finally all get back in the car, Eleri starts crying again. And, I'm crying too. I start singing Jesus Loves Me to calm Eleri down. I'm still crying, Eleri's not crying, and then Mali starts crying because "when the song is beautiful it makes me cry". TOO MUCH estrogen in our car. When we get home, Eric takes Eleri who is still crying. Off and on he calms her, but she didn't stop crying until about 7:30 (ballet is over at 5:30). In the middle of this, a friend from BSF stops by with her two kids in a stroller and her husband and they ask if they can take Mali to our park for about 15 minutes. It was such a blessing. Even though it was one of those days, God provided for me with Julie and Jonna's help.
I've also decided my new 'Mission Statement' as a mom is to make beauty out of chaos, or at least make that my perspective. So I was thinking about this as all of this is going on. I read this quote "The good mother is a great artist ever creating beauty out of chaos "(Alice Randall), and although it isn't scripture, it did make me think of how God makes Beauty out of Chaos as well just as Isaiah 61: 3 says "to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor." I hope after days like these, I will be like an Oak, solid in my Faith in my Father who turns this chaos into beauty for Him!

Best Friend

Proverbs 17:17 NIV
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 18:24 NIV
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

This weekend my BEST friend, Carrie, came for a visit. We have been friends since my freshman year of college at Texas Tech. She was a freshman Challenge leader at nine30 and a sophomore. God has used her so mightily in my life in the past 11 years. I am so blessed by her love and friendship. I had known Carrie through Challenge and I think she gave a ride to some Challenge event, but then how we began "bonding" is a funny story. I was at nine30 (in the service) and we turned around to greet people, and when she turned around to greet me I just started crying and said "I got a tattoo". I had gotten my tattoo the night before, and although I love it now, I was worried about certain repercussions at that point. After that, our friendship was sealed, and she was drawn into the drama of my life!:) Carrie is the type of friend that always tells me what God wants me to hear, NOT what I want to hear, and spurs me on in my walk with God and encourages me every time I talk to her, even though sometimes what she has to say is hard to hear, I'm always thankful for it. She is an amazing friend to everyone around her and has walked through a lot of things with me and stood by my side. This weekend was no exception. Although she had her own baby (5 month old Claire bug) who was having sleep issues, she watched my girls so I could take a few naps, swept my floors, prepared us 3 meals and froze them, loved on Mali, gave me spiritual advice, listened to me, gave me advice on parenting Mali, etc., etc.,!
She has been wonderful throughout my life and really has been a step ahead of me in most things in life; marriage, job, etc., Although I did have my first child before her and finished my master's before her. One thing I love about our friendship too, is that she just gets me and thinks similar to the way I think. We both had our undergrad in Family Studies and then went on to get our Master's in Counseling, so we are really on the same page and skip past lots of explanations. I just had to post about how much I love my friend and how much she has meant to me. This is a little muddled though, I've been up since 5:30am!! I wanted to post one of our first pictures together, Mission Trip 1999 where we forced Dan to take our picture in Hollywood in front of a stretch limo, but I think it is in the attic, so here is another picture of us on Mission Trip the next year and a picture of our girls. We were too sleep deprived to take a decent picture of ourselves!:) Although, Carrie did get one in the car on the way to the airport!:)


I am also super blessed by my other friends, Beth and Melissa! Who have also cleaned my house countless times, cooked for me, listened to me, loved on Mali, and even took care of me when I was throwing up!:) Yeah for friends that God gives!

Eleri's Birth Day

I finally have a few moments while Mali is gone to ballet and Eleri's is napping, to blog about the "big day". I really just want to get it down before I forget everything and so that one day Eleri has her arrival story. The delivery actually went so well and 100 times better than my delivery with Mali.
I woke up that morning and knew I had to put TRUTH in my heart and mind to help calm me through the whole experience. I read Psalm 145 and Psalm 121. The words in Psalm 121 were what I kept saying over and over to myself "my helps comes from the LORD."
We arrived at the hospital around 9:30 and were put in triage to get ready for the c-section. I was having a few contractions and was extremely anxious to just get it all over with. I probably should have asked for something to calm me down, because inside I was just going crazy thinking about it all. Eric handed me his iPhone while they wheeled me to the OR so that I could listen to "Be Thou My Vision" to be okay (he downloaded it while we were waiting in triage). About 11:45am they wheeled me into the OR. At one point, while I was waiting in the OR, I just thought "okay I can't do this, I don't want to do this." But it all went well and God answered so many prayers and details about the whole day. The spinal went well, at first he poked me and shot shooting pain down my leg, but then stuck me again and got it. I haven't had any pain with that at all or headaches, so praise God! The spinal was so much better than the epidural. I just felt the usual tugging and pulling and just the anticipation for her birth. I remember my doctor saying "there's the head" and feeling like it took forever for her to actually be born. She was born at 12:20pm, so in fact the c-section was really quick. I loved hearing her cry, it was sort of like a cat, just lots of little cries and complaints. Eric did great and got to cut the umbilical cord. He said it was actually pretty hard and felt totally different than what he expected. I asked him what she looked like and he said something like a baby covered in baby powder, because she was all white. I got to give her kisses and just see my beautiful girl. I was relieved and happy to see her. More answered prayers. When they were sewing me back up though, I did start to loose a lot of blood. My doctor found a spot where the placenta had started to grow onto my uterus and had to work hard to get that off. At that point, he told me that if I didn't stop; bleeding I would need to have a hysterectomy. I felt total peace at his words and trusted God to be in control of the situation, but prayed nonetheless. They got the bleeding under control and sent the tissue to the path lab. We will get the results from that hopefully this week. But I do ask you to pray. There is a chance it is just a consequence of the D&C I had or could be more molar tissue. I felt great though, compared to last time. Eric said it just goes to show what a true miracle baby Eleri is. Also, when I was getting ready to post this, I was thinking about why it might have been God's plan for me to have a c-section instead of delivering vaginally, and I felt like for whatever reason, it was because of this tissue that I was supposed to not deliver vaginally. Anyway, back to the story, I was shakey, but other than that I was fine. I was alert and had clarity of mind the whole recovery. The best part and my favorite part of the day, was when they brought Eleri to me in recovery. She was so beautiful and her eyes were open and alert. I just fell in love with her sweetness and beauty and just her being our baby. I got to nurse her and it went amazing, no problems at all!!!! She is a "champ" like Eric said. We had some sweet moments and got to spend time together (Eric too). They then took her to get a bath and I finished up and headed to the room, still feeling pretty great. I was so happy to see everyone and to see my other beautiful girl, Mali. Mali did not want to kiss Eleri because she had "chicken nuggets on her face". We still are not real sure what that was, but I'm guessing part of the white stuff she had on her since Mali saw her on the way to the nursery. When they wheeled me into the room, the first thing Mali told me was "Daddy lied" because we had bought her "The Jungle Book" DVD as a gift from baby Eleri, she finished by saying "and Baby Eleri is just a baby, she can't buy me a present." So I explained to her that she was right, that mommy and daddy picked it out and bought it for her. I was glad I was coherent to answer that one!:) Mali is just too smart! I was a little tired and did end up getting sick and really really hot (just reactions to the morphine in the spinal and because it just seems that I do that to Megan, Beth and Melissa:)), but once the nurse realized I was getting sick because my head was elevated above 30 degrees, I felt much better. I had a good night and no more bleeding problems or sickness. We just got to share and enjoy our new baby girl. Mali did great and hung out in the room for a while, she wasn't as interested in Eleri the first day. I just LOVED the look in her sweet little eyes when she came to the room at night to nurse (no we didn't have her room in, although I thought I would this time.) We enjoyed the added rest, but I did cry when Eric wheeled her back down to the nursery. We just adjusted and enjoyed this time around so much more. God was and is so faithful. Saturday my doctor came in at 6am and was ready to release me. We didn't have much of a choice, but Eric thought maybe we met our deductible so they wanted us out!:) The nurses and staff were so great to us. I wasn't quite ready to come home, so we pushed it to late afternoon. Eric was gone that day to a soccer game from about 8 until 2pm, and when he came back we packed up and checked out. We tried to get Eleri in her car seat before we carried her out so that we could get the straps adjusted right, and she would not fit! She was so curled up that her arms and legs would not go where they were supposed to. She was just a little ball of cuteness and coziness. It was pretty chaotic leaving the hospital with all of our stuff in tow, Mali and a bouqet of balloons on a windy day and our entourage. It felt good to get in the car and just breathe. We were thankful to have all day yesterday at home before Eric went back to work today. We were so blessed and continued to be blessed by prayers, meals and service! My mom did so much for us by stocking our pantry, cleaning and just preparing for our arrival home. Mali got lots of grandparent time with MeeMee, Papa, Grammie and Nana and Grandpa. She was spoiled and loved on by Aunt Megan and Uncle Chris and all the visitors that brought her a little present too. Thank you guys so much.
So how is it going now? It is great. I feel so great, I'm in a lot of pain and keeping that under control is my only issue. Eleri and feeding are going great. We have lots of poopy diapers, but are thankful for them. She is beautiful and great. Eric is enjoying getting to hold and cuddle with his two girls. He is doing amazing as a Daddy of two girls. Mali is doing so great too, and I will blog about that next, but I have to go change one of those aforementioned diapers!:)

There are so many pictures, that I can't put them on blogger, but they are on Facebook, here is the link, I think you can access it even if you don't have a Facebook account.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=88882&l=287b4&id=620254096