My Sweet Daisies!

While we were at the cabin over the 4th of July, we came across a beautiful grove (if that is the appropriate word) of daisies! Brandon took our family pictures and pictures of the girls. It was beautiful. I could have stayed there all day!

This is my prayer for my girls, that they would honor the King and know Him as Lord, who has created their beauty:
"The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord". Psalm 45:11

From the mouths of babes...or one at least

Mali and I have spent a lot of time talking about Jesus in the last few months and she has asked a lot of questions, and hopefully I've answered them with wisdom.  Out of those conversations have come the following cute sayings:

We went to the doctor with Eric for his checkup the other day, and there was a cross section model of a heart.  She brought it to me and asked "So where is Jesus?" I tried to explain you couldn't see him in your heart, just feel Him in your heart. She then said "I think he's there is the web part."

The other night, her and Eric were reading, and she said "Know what my favorite book is?  It's the Bible." (Said very matter-of-fact.  And I wish that were really true for me and her!).

I won't include the OTHER sayings Mali has come up, I'd rather forget those.  But lets just say she repeats what she hears and is very honest!  It just reminds me that we can not take credit for the good in our kids, or we have to take credit for the bad too!  Everything good in both of my girls is through God and His great mercy!  And, honestly, the bad is probably my fault, or at least some kind of reaping what you sow from when I was a child!:) (Not really, I DO NOT believe God works that way.)

Home

Two years ago today, Amarillo became our home.  We packed up all of our belongings in our first home, closed on that house and made the drive to Amarillo.  It certainly was bittersweet.  But now Amarillo does feel like home, it doesn't feel like only two years that we have lived here!

 So in honor of our anniversary in Amarillo, here is what I like about Amarillo:

1. Quick drive to the cabin, which means we can go more frequently AND that we don't have to leave at 10am to come home.

2. Our neighborhood

3. Our house....we drove past our house in Lubbock last time we were there, and I have to say I don't miss what they neighborhood had become.  We are so blessed to live where we do!

4. Our flowerbeds in the front.

5. Hillside Christian Church and the kids ministry there (where we go to church).

6. Amarillo High Football

7.  The work that I get to do and how God has blessed me tremendously through it!

8.  BSA and my OB who was wonderful for Eleri's birth, and who also diagnosed my molar pregnancy and cared for me so well during that time.

9. Being so close to Brandon that we get to hang out with him nearly every weekend or just an evening visit.

10.  Dinners with Chris and Megan and how great they are to our girls.

11. ChickFilA (I think it is a better environment here than in Lubbock).

12.  Amarillo College kids classes...ballet is only about $40/semester....SOOO affordable.

13.  Although I don't have a plethora of friends here yet, I am thankful for those that God has brought into my life.  And quite honestly, I'm not sure I have all that much time for lots of friends!  

There may be more, but I think a list of 13 things is pretty good for a place that I thought I would hate!

Let Freedom Ring

We celebrated the 4th of July at the cabin again this year. It really is one of my favorite traditions, because I love the cabin and because we've been celebrating there for at least the last 18 years. Not many holidays were consistent for me growing up, but 4th of July was one that was, and I love it! Anyway, we drove up Thursday afternoon and stopped at Cougar Canyon Golf Resort in Trinidad, CO. It is a links course designed by Jack Nicklaus and Eric played as his Father's Day gift. We rode along with him and enjoyed watching him play. He will have to go back when he can play by himself and not worry about his 3 girls. We got the cabin late that night.

Friday, we enjoyed hiking around the resort and enjoying the cool mountain air. Brandon took some pictures of us and the girls in a beautiful daisy patch we stumbled upon. I'm hoping pictures in the daisies will become a new tradition as well. We got to eat lunch at the Dog Bar, another one of our new traditions. After that, the guys prepared for their annual entry in the parade. Again, Eric and Brandon dressed up, this time with the added moustaches, and Brandon pulled Eric on his skis. They were a hit again, and we enjoyed the parade. I heard several people commenting on their entry being their favorite! It is funny to see! I made the girls matching tutus, but of course Mali wouldn't wear hers to the parade! Eleri slept in my arms and Mali caught plenty of candy, especially from her Daddy. Mali was a little sad to not be in the parade this year, but we may have Grandpa convinced to enter with all his grandkids (something we used to joke-ingly talk about doing, and now there are 6 grandkids!) We enjoyed some time outdoors; playing in the stream, swinging in the hammock, and just taking in the beauty. Eleri did not sleep good at the cabin, or since we've returned for that matter, so I look forward to next year when she is a little older!
Lastly, this year, for some reason, I just realized that 4th of July is a time to celebrate freedom. I'm thankful for freedom as an American, but more importantly freedom as a Christian. I spent many years not walking in freedom and am so very thankful for the freedom that I have through Christ! I try to walk in this freedom each day!
"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." 2 Corinthians 3:17




the above pictures were Terry's To see more pictures, look on my facebook.

"Clean up, clean up, every body every where.."

Clean up clean up, every body every where, clean up clean up, every body do your share! Well, Mali has not been doing her share of cleaning up her room. It has been a battle for a long time. I've tried spanking her, sitting in there with her, and even promising a large reward (AND following through on it). I've taken things away like going swimming, not playing with friends, and not going to the movie theatre. We've tried not allowing her to do anything until her room is clean and spanking her if she comes out. None of this has worked, and when it has worked it has only been temporary and has not motivated her to keep it clean. When I give her tokens for each item she picks up, that works, but I have to be in there and have to stay on top of her...not always possible between feedings and putting Eleri down for naps. I also tried making it a game of see how fast you can go, how much you can pick up in 15 minutes, and beat Mommy...none of these worked. Positive reinforcement definitely works better with Mali and I can tell that she gets so overwhelmed with how much she has to do, so she just lays around and cries. BUT, I want her to be intrinsically motivated to clean her room, but maybe that won't happen until SHE is 29!:) Yesterday, Eleri was taking a good nap and I was in picking up Mali's room with her and she wasn't helping, so I decided to heed the advice of several friends, and my dad, and take away all of her toys. I put some in the attic but most in their baskets in our closet. I took Eric's shoes down so the toys could fit. I thought that if they were visible to her, it could be continued motivation to keep her room clean to get them back. So in the process of me taking up the toys, Mali said "thats okay you can take them away and give them to kids that don't have toys", and "I don't want them anyway" and "here's this one, I don't like it anyway." AND, she scavenged the toys she liked and hid them in the living room. However, I took those away too. She was allowed to keep 4 toys...three stuffed animals and a Littlest Pet shop toy that was actually where it was supposed to be. So it pretty much didn't phase her. At one point she asked for Big Bunny because she needed to marry him, and I explained to her when she could keep her room picked up she could have him back first. She had a few tears, but that has been it so far. Eric asked if her room was now spotless, the answer is NO. She is also making a mess with clothes and is changing several times a day. While I was working, Mali changed outfits 6 times and got out a lot of books too. I'm trying to follow the advice of a friend...Mali gets two tokens to change clothes and once she uses the tokens she can't change anymore. I hope it works, but I'm sure when I go to work or feed Eleri she will sneak in a clothes changes.

So today we are headed to the movie theatre without drama, and I ask myself, "wouldn't it just be easier if she took the 10 minutes to pick up her room?"

Sorry grandparents for all the toys you've given her, they are taking a much needed vacation and will hopefully return soon!

Annual Review

I recently heard a speaker discussing the transition from working to being a stay at home mom. She commented that there is no data for stay at home moms to measure our job performance. Fortunately I stumbled upon such a review. Yesterday I was asking Mali to tell me what she likes about her daddy, and she said one thing and then quickly said "but I don't like...". First of all, she was in one of those moods, but I also wanted to see what she would say about me. What I'm going to blog in this post is pretty hard to share, the last thing I want to do is be a failure as a parent and I really do not like being vulnerable at all, but I want to share to 1. document it 2. be accountable to changing it, if no one knows then I might not change 3. parenting is hard, but through God's guidance we can make it and have well loved children at the end. So this is what Mali said, and I hope to make a habit of getting an annual review:
What do you like about mommy?:
When you play with me, read to me, that you're thankful for what you get, taking shower/baths together, when you be kind, when you calm down and stop saying ugly words, when I swing and you push me, watching movies like Narnia and Australia, when we have fun and enjoy spring.
Now its time for my rebuttable, or clarification. First of all, I think many times a day, I tell Mali she needs to calm down or that she is using ugly words or has an ugly mouth. Most often, she turns around and says "you're being ugly mommy" and I respond something like this "Mommy is teaching you and I'm being firm." However, I KNOW I need to change this and use sweet/kind words when correcting her or speaking with her after asking her this. I've already seen a huge difference in this and how she responds. When I talk calmly and without frustration to her and just sit with her and maybe hold her hand as I explain to her that I was trying to get Eleri to fall asleep and how she was being too loud, it works so much better than, to be honest, yelling at her to stop being loud! I'm sure I won't always get it right, but I'm trying to lean on the Holy Spirit to enable me to do so. On the other hand, I'm thankful that she enjoys things about me, but at the same time feel guilty because I haven't been doing them as often since Eleri's birth. There is always some reason that I can't push her in the swing or read to her. BUT, we have gotten to take lots of shower/baths together!:)

What don't you like about mommy?
Your sassy mouth, but you're just teaching me.
Going to Sam's

Now, I'm not sure who doesn't like going to Sam's....FREE SAMPLES. But apparently what adults like children don't always appreciate!:) Her other statement goes with what I was saying previously. Our mouths either speak life or death, and I tell her that so often in a day, now its time for me to speak life!!!

Finally, I asked her what she wishes mommy would do:
Have fun and not do anything else
Take me to SeaWorld and Disneytown.

I knew the materialism had to creep in there some where!!!:) And, my big observation is that it is all about spending time with her and focusing on her!

God help me to be a better mom, enable to me be wise and intentional with the time that I have and to give Mali quality time. Give me a mouth that speaks life and help me to calmly handle correction and take the time to sit with her and be sweet. Forgive me where I have failed and push me forward to do better through your power and strength. Thank you for the times that I have made Mali feel loved and for the sweet memories and moments that I had to make deposits of time into her life!

I can't do it all

After nearly 5 months with two girls, I've come to the realization that I can't do it all. Not even close! Every time I try, I fail miserably. Some times I come to this point with tears, with relief and most often exhaustion. I'm not sure how adding one child who doesn't even dirty dishes has added to me loading and unloading the dishwasher five times a day, every day, but it has and I'm there. I know that I can't do it all and will never be able to do it all, but I know and trust that God can do it all, or at least I remind myself of this truth. Sometimes that means that God gives me sustaining energy to get the tasks done, or answers my prayers for my time to be multiplied and my hands to be quick in the tasks that are before me. Sometimes that means that He washes me with His peace and assurance that I don't have to do it and my heart rests in peace as I play with my girls and teach them new things while the clean laundry piles higher and higher. I remember years ago meeting with a wonderful, godly woman who had an unmade bed, piles of clean clothes on the couch a passionate relationship with Jesus and well loved children. I say that I didn't judge those things, because I really didn't, but I didn't understand how one didn't have time for ALL of those things to be completed! I GET IT!! Oh do I get it and have become it, only I'm not sure that I can claim to match her passion for Jesus and love for my children. I remember the days that my co-workers gave me a hard time about how picked up and spotless my house was, and that seems like another person, an alter ego that existed long long ago. Now I've become the woman with food particles sprayed on my white cabinets from who knows when, because to be honest, I ignore it because there are so many other tasks to be completed, that matter more. I'm the woman with piles of clean laundry and I think "at least they're all clean". Not too big of a deal for me and the girls, but for the guy that can stand wrinkled clothes...it's a big deal!:) And, by the end of the day, it is not even close to apparent that I have picked up and cleaned Mali's room at least two times, unloaded the dishwasher, emptied the sink, made tea that is now empty, picked up the front room three times, changed six diapers, nursed my sweet baby six times, handled a few meltdowns, said no and stood my ground, spelled my name, Eric's name, Eleri's name and other words throughout the day, gave out hundreds of smiles, touches, hugs and kisses to my girls, fed the dogs twice, yelled at the dogs twice, got dressed, got Mali dressed in cute matching clothes, asked Mali to put her four different changes of outfits on hangers or in the dirty clothes, got Eleri dressed two times after spit up, prayed for patience, prayed for strength, prayed for God to sustain me, prayed for God to infiltrate me...and I could go on. I wouldn't trade it and am so thankful, but I'm so overwhelmed and though I've realized I can't do it all and know with all my heart God can, I don't know how to balance it all. When is it okay to leave things undone? What battles do I pick? How does my house get clean...okay I'll take presentable. How do I handle the constant mess of Mali's room even though I've already picked it up or in some way motivated Mali to get it picked up just to have it trashed in minutes? Is it okay that Mali vacuumed her room herself and got clothes from the washer to the dryer?:) How do I manage my home? How do we survive, and survive well, creating a happy home environment that every one likes to be a part of?
I just had to get this out, this post has been working around in my mind for weeks!